I tried to change, closed my mouth more
Tried to be soft, prettier, less awake 
Fasted for sixty days
Wore white, abstained from mirrors 
Abstained from sex
Slowly did not speak another word 
In that time my hair 
Grew past my ankles
I slept on a mat on a floor
I swallowed a sword
I levitated into the basement
Confessed my sins and was baptised in a river
Got on my knees and said "amen" and said "I mean"
I whipped my own back and asked for dominion at your feet 
I threw myself into a volcano 
I drank the blood and drank the wine
I sat alone and begged and bent at the waist for God
I crossed myself and thought I saw the devil 
I grew thickened skin on my feet
I bathed in bleach and plugged my menses 
With pages from the Holy Book
But still inside me coiled deep was the need to know
Are you cheating on me? Are you cheating on me?